2 Bit

From Bonus Stage

Bonus Stage Episode #22

Stamp has gone insane and is turning the whole Bonus Stage cast into video game sprites.

Cast (in order of appearance): Joel, Phil, Rya, Stamp, June, Emory and Oglethorpe

Page Title: Paper Joelio

Running time: 3:27

'Date: April 23, 2004

Transcript

{opening credits. Open with Joel in front of the couch}

JOEL: Who decided that this needed to be done?

{Phil leans on-screen}

PHIL: Joel?

JOEL: Yo.

PHIL: It...is...4 AM! WHAT DO YOU WANT?

JOEL: Look at the TV, man.

{cut to a shot of the TV}

JOEL: Fox just cancelled [High Score/Fatty Brigade/Babe Revue 2000]!

{cut back over to Phil}

PHIL: Y-you woke me up for this? That show sucks. It's always sucked. It's a whirlwind folklore legend of suck!

{cut over to Joel}

JOEL: Yeah, well, I'm going to start a petition about this. A petition competition.

{cut back to Phil}

PHIL: And I'm going to bed. {pauses expectantly} Uh, isn't this usually the part where that fat-headed woman talks about how much my life sucks?

JOEL: {hurt} My head isn't fat.

{Opening Credits. Cut to a view of Phil, with eyes bugged out, looking down at the screen}

PHIL: Holy Shazam! Look at this!

{Joel leans on-screen in the background}

JOEL: Phil, it's 1...IN THE AFTERNOON!

{Phil blinks and his eyes go back to normal}

PHIL: Doesn't really work like that, Joel.

JOEL: Yeah, well, I came up with the phrase first, you Pittsburgh Steeler!

PHIL: Look at Rya!

{cut to a view of the now-pixelized Rya}

JOEL: Whoa, she's been...Robotroned.

PHIL: Who on Earth could have done this?

JOEL: Well, maybe they're not from Earth...

{cut to Phil and Joel}

PHIL: It's not the Mooninites. They were just a gag cameo.

JOEL: You're a gag.

PHIL: I'll call Elly and... {his eyes bug out} ...UH OH!

JOEL: Spaghettios!

PHIL: SHUT UP!

{cut to Phil and Joel outside}

PHIL: Oh, man. Elly's been rasterized, too.

JOEL: Hey, it's the Grape man!

{cut over to an enraged gigantic Stamp}

STAMP: Grrrrrrr....

{cut back to Phil and Joel}

PHIL: Stamp, what's going on here?

STAMP: I'm going to wreck you up!

PHIL: Who did this to you?

{cut over to RD and DG}

DG: Don't look at us...

{brief pause}

DG: STOP LOOKING AT US!

{cut back to Joel and Phil, when June jumping in front of them, much to the suprise of Phil}

JUNE: I'll save you!

JOEL: Uhhh...who's that guy?

{close-up on Phil}

PHIL: June, you're not sexy enough to withstand him!

{close-up on June}

JUNE: I'll find a way!

{close-up on Joel}

JOEL: Wow, her voice acting blows.

{cut to a normal view of June}

JUNE: Alright, you...

{June gets crushed by Stamp. Cut back over to Joel and Phil}

PHIL: Aw, man. Well, maybe we'll be lucky and he's just anti-feminist...

{Stamp crushes Phil, much to Joel's surprise}

PHIL: OOF! Or he's anti-Irish...

{Joel starts moving around, trying to run away}

JOEL: Well, this is Internet terrorism! I-I won't...AAAH!

{Joel gets crushed by Stamp. Cut to a pixelized version of Phil's house. A pixelized version of Phil is standing there. A pixelized Joel moves on-screen, without leg movement.}

JOEL: Oh, Phiiiil! Check out my latest invention.

PHIL: It's not another death ray, is it?

JOEL: Phil...it's the Ray of Death, stupid. And this'll blast those aliens.

PHIL: For the last time, it's NOT the Mooninites!

JOEL: Then who is it?!

{cut to the Plutonians' space ship, where Oglethorpe is sliding towards Emory}

OGLETHORPE: EMORY! VHERE DID ZE GRAPE MAN GO?!

{zoom out to a larger view of the Plutonians' spaceship. Oglethorpe slides off-screen to the left.}

EMORY: Well, uh, remember when we were rr-refueling and he said he needed to use the bathroom, and, uh, we never really looked into the validity of his, uh...story?

{Oglethorpe slides back to the right with a soda in his hand. Zoom in on Emory and Oglethorpe}

OGLETHORPE: What's a bathroom?

EMORY: Yeah.

{zoom out to a larger view of the ship}

OGLETHORPE: Well, vhere's ze other experiments? We will have fun with him... {close-up on Emory} ...SINCE YOU DON'T WANT US TO HAVE FUN WITH THE OTHER ONE!

EMORY: Well, he-he wasn't in his cage either.

{zoom out again}

OGLETHORPE: Vell, maybe you should check again... {A giant red monster's head pops out from the right to attack Oglethorpe} ...AAAGH!

{end credits}

JOEL: So how many pending lawsuits is that?

PHIL: Er, uh...three.

Fun Facts

External Links

• Watch "2 Bit"
• View the flash file for "2 Bit"

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