2 Fast
From Bonus Stage
Bonus Stage Episode #18
Cast (in order of appearance): Phil, Joel, Elly, Rya, General Specific and Private Public
Places: Phil's House, Xover House, Phil's Living Room, Phil's Bedroom
Page title: Paper Joelio
Running time: 3:51
Date: March 26, 2004
Contents |
Transcript
{Opening credits, then cut to Phil's house}
PHIL: {on the phone} Not that it has anything to do with the fact that I don't have money or anything, but this hunger strike's important... and it's important to me... and it's important to this nation... and it's important to me... wait, did I... say that twice? Um...
JOEL: {over the phone, in a high-pitched voice} Look, I don't care about your hunger strike, okay? I'm setting up my bachelor pad. The one, might I add, you tried to remove. But you couldn't remove it, 'cause you can't censor me!
PHIL: Er... you sound... weird.
{Screen shifts to show Joel in the Xover house, on the phone, now with long hair and breasts}
JOEL: The phone must be haaaaaaaaunted. No, seriously, this place is supposedly cursed but {sigh} that voice is full of crap. You know, the voice in my head? It doesn't go away. Just like the usual voices.
{pause}
PHIL: Er, are those, um, boobs?
JOEL: Uh, these are pecs. You should get them. Oh wait, you're a scrawny weakling. I guess that'll be nothing more than a fevered dream.
{screen shows Phil front-on}
JOEL: {Over the phone} Hahahaha, oh man, quit being a fever beaver.
PHIL: {Tosses phone, which remains in the top-right corner even when the camera view changes.} Whatever. Man, if Joel becomes a girl that'll make one male protagonist and several fe- {Extreme close-up on eyes} MY... GOD. THE PLOT TO EVERY JAPANESE CARTOON EVER! {Shifts back} But anyway, back to my needs which {Yellow Background with "Totally Rule" across screen} totally rule.
{Cut to Elly and Rya on the couch. Phil enters from left.}
PHIL: I am going on a hunger strike!
{pause}
PHIL: Hurm, I am going on a hunger strike. {cough cough, sniff} Hrm, hrmm-
ELLY: I think I'm gonna go on a hunger strike too, if you keep cookin' the way you do.
PHIL: Well, June's the cook. Where is she, anyway? You know, she's never in this cartoon.
ELLY: WE'RE IN A CARTOON!?
{pause}
PHIL: Anyway, I'm protesting-
RYA: Hey, guys, Joel's housewarming party just started. You'd better get over there.
ELLY: Um, I-I don't remember a party.
RYA: Very fascinating story, Phil. I pity you so much that I want to give you all of my attention. Well, I'm listening. Tell me all about your cheap ploy to impress Elly. I'm all ears.
PHIL: {pauses} Forget it.
RYA: Yes, forget this lame sub-plot because it fails to get laughs. You'd better get over there. They might be talking about you while you're not there. Hurry up now, attention whore.
{Phil and Elly are now at the party, looking at blue blob joel. The phone has disapeared.}
JOEL: Hey Phil, you made it, ha-ha-ha. Hey, wait a minute, I didn't invite you. What's going on?
PHIL: Look, you need to come back. This isn't healthy.
ELLY: Yet strangely erotic.
PHIL: No!
JOEL: Dude, don't ruin my dreams, man. This is my pad. This is my future. This is... my pad. Did I... say that... twice?
PHIL: Too late.
JOEL: What, what're you going to do? Call the police?
PHIL: Yeah.
{The screen goes black and a title reads "CHOOSE YOUR ENDING". The choices are "Normal Ending", "Creepy Ending", and "Sheep in the Big City Ending".}
Choose YOUR ending:
Normal Ending
PHIL: Well, everything is back to normal aaa-errr- {falls over, dead}
ELLY: Wow, he really did go on a hunger strike.
JOEL: No, I stabbed him. That bitch is annoying.
{Credits roll}
Creepy Ending
PHIL: Well, the swelling should go down soon. I'd say get some rest.
JOEL: {moving close to Phil, and in a seductive tone} I have a better idea.
ELLY: {moves up close to Joel} So do I.
{Cut to Phil waking up in bed.}
PHIL: Arrrgh!! Man, that was a terrible dream.
{Elly and Joel appear on both sides of him.}
ELLY: Really? What was it about?
PHIL: Kazaam.
{Zooms out to reveal that Rya and Joel are actually holding Elly and Joel puppets.}
RYA: Dear God, you're stupid.
{Credits Roll}
Sheep in the Big City Ending
{Cut to General Specific standing in a field next to a red wall.}
GENERAL SPECIFIC: Well, the sheep's on the other side of that wall!
{Cut to Private Public}
PRIVATE PUBLIC: Uh, well, why don't we go around it?
{Cut to General Specific}
GENERAL SPECIFIC: Brilliant! You're on the ball, today!
{Cut to GS and PP, who is now balancing on a large, red ball}
PRIVATE PUBLIC: Uh... can you let me off now?
GENERAL SPECIFIC: Quit whining!
{Roll end credits}
Fun Facts
Trvia
- Part two of season two's six-part story arc.
- This was originally the first episode to use Total Soundalike as its credits music.
- Originally, the option to choose an ending was not present, and the episode went on with the "Creepy Ending", which ended right after Phil's "Kazaam" line.
Real-World References
- When we first see Joel in this episode, he has (among other things) purple wings and an antenna with a red ball at the end. These are both features of the Moogles from the Final Fantasy games.
- General Specific and Private Public from the canceled Cartoon Network show, Sheep in the Big City, appear in the aptly titled "Sheep in the Big City Ending"
- This episode's title is a take on 2 Fast 2 Furious, the cleverly named sequel to the film The Fast And The Furious.
Episode Description
PART 2 OF 6. Joel spends the night at Xover House, not knowing of the curse placed apon it, transforming himself into some sort of bizarre fantasy character. MEANWHILE..... Phil seems to be fasting.
- First Bonus Stage to feature multiple endings.
