From Bonus Stage

Transcript

{Opening credits. Again, Joel has a red cap, and it is snowing in the scene with everybody.}

{Cut to Joel without his hat on and with a blue cube on his head.}

JOEL: The time cube is all, and sees all.

{Cut to Phil in the doorway.}

PHIL: Oh man. For the last time, time cube is not a religion.

{Cut to Joel.}

JOEL: Please, I have no time for people who are educated stupid. {He holds out a card.} Here's the website. If you know what that is. And you don't. I know you don't.

PHIL: This religion won't last a week, just like last time.

{Cut to Phil sitting on a couch, and Joel next to him in a worm costume.}

JOEL: Wormism...is the future.

PHIL: No it's not.

{Zoom-in to Phil. A banana hits his head and bounces off.}

PHIL: Did you just throw a...banana at me?

JOEL: {off-screen} Yes.

{Cut to Phil and Joel in the kitchen.}

PHIL: Well, as long as you're on the brink of STUPID, maybe you can tell me what's up with the fridge.

{Cut to Joel looking in the fridge}

JOEL: What? I don't see what's wrong. Water, OJ, purple stuff. Wait, we have purple stuff?

PHIL: Joel.

JOEL: This is incredible awesomeic!

{Cut to Phil.}

PHIL: I'm referring to that cube-shaped object that's...glowing and floating next to the gallon of milk.

{Pan out to see Joel standing next to Phil. He has purple stuff on his face.}

JOEL: Mmmhmm. Purple liquid perfection, with a refreshing poison aftertaste.

PHIL: Are you listening to me?

JOEL: I don't listen just 'cause the cool people are doing it. I'm an individual.

{Cut to Phil and Joel in a different room}

PHIL: So, we're just going to ignore the cube.

JOEL: If we give it attention...then...the terrorists win.

{The cube appears with a "blip" sound. It starts vibrating up and down.}

{Cut back to Phil and Joel. Joel is moving towards the cube.}

PHIL: What the?

JOEL: That's an imposter.

PHIL: So why are you moving towards it?

{Phil starts moving too.}

JOEL: Because...it's...interesting. My religion betrays me again!

{There is a flash of white light and then it cuts to a Megaman-esque world. The word "Ready" appears and flashes and Phil appears, Megaman style, in 8-bit glory.}

PHIL: Joel, where are you?

{Phil runs forward and jumps through a door, Megaman style. Joel drops down. He starts moving his hands.}

PHIL: Good, Joel, you're here. That thing sent us into another dimension! We have to get out of here somehow, before the fabric of the universe starts to unravel and everything starts getting...weird...and referential.

{Joel pulls out his arm and it's a giant blaster.}

PHIL: Eee!

{The cube appears and there is another "blip" and white light. There is now Inuyasha-esque music playing and an Elly in Kagome's white and green clothes appears. Then Joel in Inuyasha's clothing, and Phil in Miroku's purple clothes and staff. Then Joel on a cliff, which shrinks and goes to the corner, and Joel with a hot dog, and Joel in a shoe appear next to them. Zoom out to show this on a laptop. An anime fan is sitting in a chair.}

FAN BOY: Oh goodness. This is my favorite episode ever. I'm gonna go onto the email and, uh, here we go.

{Shows an email service.}

FAN BOY: {types as he says it.} This series {spells it "sieres"} is to.

{Clicks "send".}

FAN BOY: Okay. Now I'm going to go onto the message board. {Goes to a site that says "The Emo Board"} Oh...emo foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. {burps}

{Cut back to the Inuyasha parody}

PHIL: Joel, you have the power to stop this. So stop it already!

JOEL: {In a different voice} I don't know what you're talkin' about.

{Elly gets closer to him}

JOEL: Eh...eh...Eeeyeyeeee.

{A stick figure pops up with a speech bubble that says "LOL". The cube appears again and blips them off in another flash. Joel is a Bullwinkle-esque figure, and Phil is Rocky-esque, and they are falling through the sky.}

NARRATOR: Our heroes are woefully whisked away to a destination in the nation that they cannot determine.

JOEL: {In a deeper voice} Gee Phil, this is actually kinda nice.

PHIL: {In a higher voice} Hokey smokes! I think that's about to change!

{Phil points down and the camera switches to show they are falling towards New Jersey, which is marked "new jersey".}

NARRATOR: Indeed, Phil's interjection was correct, as the hapless humans plunged towards American soil with no way to stop the fall!

{They land on a beach. A few seconds later, there is an explosion that makes a "pssshh" sound.}

NARRATOR: Find out in the next episode {Appears on screen} Beach Blanket Bungle {The words appear on a beach blanket} or {appears on screen} The Sands of Crime. {Appears on pebbles in the sand. Another white light and noise. Phil and Joel are now girls, with hair and boobs.}

PHIL: {In higher voice} Uh. I'm not going there.

JOEL: {Also in higher voice} Would...would you do it if I paid you?

{There is yet another flash and noise. Now Phil (the girl) and Joel (Inuyasha) are standing there.}

PHIL: Aw, this is what I was talking about! The fabric of space and time is getting ripped apart, and it won't be long before we get-

{Another flash and noise later, Inuyasha Joel and regular Phil are standing on the edge, and Walky is in the middle.}

PHIL: Oh no, please put us in a better crossover.

{Another flash and noise later, the normal house is shown, snow falling.}

PHIL: {Off-screen} Finally!

JOEL: {Off-screen} Man, I'm glad that's over. {Cut to inside the house, Joel and Phil are colored in with colored pencils and wavy looking} Yeah, so, uh-

PHIL: Yeah.

JOEL: So uh, what-what should we do?

PHIL: I dunno.

JOEL: And 'cuz you know-

PHIL: Yeah.

JOEL: I didn't realize that we were, you know-

PHIL: Right.

JOEL: You know-

PHIL: Yeah. I know what you're talking about.

JOEL: You know, I mean, I was just thinking that we could go...uh, over to the uh...

PHIL: I'm thinkin' it.

JOEL: Over to the uh...the uh...minimart?

PHIL: Yeah, totally. I'm totally...up for that.

JOEL: Where'd that cube come from, anyway?

{Now the house is all inverted. Joel is wearing a yellow shirt and green pants, and is on the upside down floor. Phil is grey and sticking out of the side.}

JOEL: Well, it's good to be back...for real.

PHIL: ...and only ten dimensions later.

JOEL: My favorite was the monkey one.

PHIL: Yeah, I bet.

JOEL: Is that a racist comment?

PHIL: What?

JOEL: {With really big mouth} SUIT!

{Cut to a court room, with a Rusty Duck Clan Member as the judge}

THE NINJUDGE: Mr. Argus, you are hereby stripped of all your worldly goods.

{Cut to Phil and Joel}

PHIL: Alright, here's thirty-five bucks.

JOEL: Thanks.

PHIL: Don't mention it.

{Credits roll}

Trivia

   * This episode was originally preceded by a RD and DG skit, which explained the origin of the Timecube. 

Transcript

   {We open with a still of ToonZone, with a subtitle beneath it reading "Toon Zone - Tuesday, 2010". From there, we fade to two figures, RD and DG, standing in a lab. RD is looking at a screen that reads, "Earth's Temp Core", with "Warning - Unstable" flashing underneath it.}

   RD: Hey, uh... this kinda looks... dangerous. I think we should maybe, like, look into it... I dunno.

   {DG slides on-screen out of nowhere, holding the cube and screaming.}

   DG: {while cube is vibrating with its whooping sound} SPRIIING BREEEEEAK!!!

   {Fade to white}

   * Originally, this episode contained a blatant (and digital) crossover with the Mooninites, of Aqua Teen Hunger Force fame. 

Transcript

   PHIL: Oh no, please put us in a better crossover.

   {Cut to Phil on the moon}

   PHIL: Oh, no. I said a BETTER one.

   IGNIGNOKT: What's wrong with ours? Ours is a digital crossover.

   ERR: We are crossing over into the digital nation!

   IGNIGNOKT: And our digital nation is a nation of sharing.

   ERR: We will break your arms and sell them to the Swedes!

   PHIL: Get me OUT OF HERE!

   {The cube appears and flashes. Cut to the "Home Movies" parody.}

   * There was also a different ending that linked to the RD and DG skit earlier in the episode. 

Transcript

   JOEL: Where'd that cube come from, anyway?

   {We cut to the still of ToonZone, with a subtitle beneath it reading "Toon Zone - Tuesday, 2010". From there, we fade to RD and DG, standing in a lab with the screen that reads, "Earth's Temp Core", with "Warning - Unstable" flashing underneath it, still behind them.}

   DG: That was the best Spring Break ev- {The lab explodes, sending RD and DG flying.} OH-CRAP!

   {Ending Credits}