CurSING!
From Bonus Stage
Bonus Stage Episode #39
The first ever Bonus Stage musical! Or maybe not. Joel tries to build an underground city, but finds Elly has beaten him to it.
Cast (in order of appearance): Joel, Brad, Phil, Elly, Rya, Keen, Phillyfanatic and Joelon, Craig
Places: Phil's Living Room, Elevator, Elland
Page Title: Bonus Stage #39: aka 'The Song Was Adlibbed And Then I Stopped Caring'
Running Time: 6:30
Date: September 10, 2004
Contents |
Transcript
ANNOUNCER: {"TONIGHT" appears on the screen as he speaks} Tonight, on Bonus Stage...
{cut to Joel and Brad flying in the box}
BRAD: Welcome aboard Air Brad.
JOEL: Uh, is this like Air Bud?
BRAD: No.
JOEL: Are we gonna fight the Red Baron?
BRAD: No. Any other dumb questions?
JOEL: Uh, yeah, what's that thing- UGH!
{The box crashes into the ground, interrupting him. Cue opening credits, then cut to Phil and Elly sitting on the couch}
PHIL: ...so I told the lawyers to just rename him Craig, and that why we’re not allowed to say Mission Hill on the air.
ELLY: Yeah, that story sucked. When's Joel coming home?
PHIL: I thought you liked my stories.
ELLY: I liked your mom’s stories.
PHIL: Well, she does tell some pretty funny stories.
ELLY: Remember Lite Brite?
PHIL: Uh, where does that come from?
ELLY: {angrily} When is Joel coming home?
PHIL: Uh, well, I wasn’t even aware that Joel... went places. What, is-is he at work?
ELLY: No, he’s outside. {quick shot of Joel standing outside}
PHIL: Doing what?
ELLY: I dunno, basking in awesome?
PHIL: The only thing Joel's basking in is... {some music starts, confusing Phil} What the...?
{shot of the open doorway, where music can be heard. Joel enters, bobbing up and down to the beat. He dances for a bit (which freaks out Phil), then begins to sing.}
JOEL: {singing} It’s been a while, but I’m back on top / Gonna rock you harder than a Dixie cup / I lost my arms back in ‘94 / Now here is Phil, and he’s gonna tell you some more
{He waits, grinning, as the music keeps going. Phil does nothing but sit there and look at Joel with an annoyed look. Eventually Joel stops grinning.}
JOEL: ...All right, shut it off. {the music stops}
PHIL: Whoa, what is this, a Smart House?
JOEL: You’re a smart house. And the house is your mouth. Disney’s House of Mouth.
PHIL: If I wasn’t nearly comatose from boredom, I’d say you were trying to start a musical number, correct?
JOEL: Phil, we’re pulling out all the stops.
PHIL: Oh, is that why those signs are over there? {cut to a pile of street signs lying in the corner}
JOEL: No, those signs have to learn their lesson. They're direspectful, calling their man to beat me down...
PHIL: You know that's, a serious crime?
JOEL: I know that the outside world thinks it is. Which is why we have to start a new underground society. We will call it Philopolis.
PHIL: Why don't you just call it... oh, you did. Huh. What would this society have?
JOEL: Uh.... paintball.
ElLY: Would it have you there?
JOEL: Hell yeah, it would. I am the overseer. You can call me Phat Joel.
ELLY: Awesome!
PHIL: Why?
JOEL: Just forget it. If you didn't get it, you're not going to get it. Here's something you'll get: You're a drunk.
PHIL: {defensive} Yeah, but I keep it under control.
JOEL: Not that one time, you didn't.
{cut away to Joel and Phil on a white background. Phil is dressed like Witch Hunter Robin and twiching sporadically.}
JOEL: What the heck are you?
PHIL: {drunkenly} Witch Hunter Phil... I, have, the witchcraft, but... I'm not a witch... watch... yet!
JOEL: Wow man, where's the camera?
PHIL: Cameras are witchcraft!
JOEL: WAGHH! {Joel is suddenly lit on fire}
{cut to Joel and Phil on an elevator, going down.}
JOEL: For our underground society to work, we're going to need people. And not just robot people, but influential people.
PHIL: We're... we're still talking about this? Wait a minute, since when did our house have an elevator?
JOEL: Man, where were you during the cutaway? Take a look at Joelbertron- what the!?
{there is a sign that reads "Welcome to Elland: the cool place to relax and chill". Zoom out to show Elly and Rya standing next to the sign, in front of an underground city.}
ELLY: So I was thinking we could put the arcade in the middle of the bridge, so that people have to beat Stun Runner to before they can get in. Win or lose, we rake it all in!
RYA: What about Hard Drivin'?
ELLY: No one should have to play Hard Drivin'.
RYA: Well, I was hard drivin' your dad last night.
ELLY: I don't think "your dad" jokes will ever catch on.
{Joel enters}
JOEL: What is this?
ELLY: This is Elland. I'm the mayor. Nice to meet you.
JOEL: John Mayor... What! I zoned this area for Joelbertron! You can't just take over!
ELLY: Well, I did. Doesn't that suck. For you.
JOEL: Well I'm gonna call my lawyers. They're extremely high priced and vicious.
{cut to Joel, Phil, and Keen}
KEEN: I'm not a lawyer anymore. Now I'm Keen: Eyebrow Raiser. {raises eyebrow}
PHIL: And this is a paying gig?
KEEN: Fifty bucks an hour.
PHIL: Damn.
JOEL:' Come on, man. Remember when we busted that ripoff site?
{cut to a title card reading "Special Level"}
NARRATOR: This is Special Level. Here's Joel...-lon, and Phil...-ly...-fanatic. {we are shown these characters. They look exactly like Joel and Phil only different colors.} Episode one go. {cut to these two characters on a poorly-drawn street background.}
JOELON: Hi, I have a car.
PHILLYFANATIC: You have a car.
JOELON: Oh, it's actually a box. An Xbox.
PHILLYFANATIC: That's huge, I bet.
JOELON: L-O-L. {the letters appear as he says them}
NARRATOR: The end.
{cut back to Elland}
JOEL: Okay, Elly, my laywers are... potentially on their way. And you'll feel their wrath, after they, you know, get gas in Iceland. Because that's where they fuel up. I mean you could look that up in an encyclopedia and it would be true. You could find that information there because it's fact. It is, totally.
RYA: Our laywers are powerful warlocks who make people's organs explode through their throat and out the mouth, and they wear hoods.
JOEL: The groove is in the hood.
ELLY: I don't know what the big deal is, anyway. I mean, all you did was set up residential zones. You didn't even build power plants!
JOEL: Hey, if they want the power, they have to go to Greyskull like I did.
{cut to Craig at what looks like some type of computer. Phil, Rya, and Elly are in the background.}
CRAIG: Morale is up eighty percent. Hip hip... hooray.
PHIL: Man, I've gotta say, Elly, this place is fantastic.
{Joel pops up next to Craig at the computer console}
JOEL: Yeah, lemme just take over for a second, I'm gonna make it better.
ELLY: {angrily} No!
JOEL: First we need some funds. F-U-N-D-S. {piles of treasure appear} Yeah baby!
PHIL: Joel, don't!
{a giant green foot stomps down. Cut to Joel, Phil, Rya, and Elly in the elevator, going up.}
JOEL: Look, cheating is the cycle of life. How was I supposed to know that it would cause a natural disaster? I don't even understand it. How could Godzilla get underground?
ELLY: This show ruins everyone's dreams.
JOEL: It also eats them and grows stronger. What's your point?
ELLY: This episode isn't going to end with someone dying, is it? {her head explodes}
JOEL: Well, I guess- {his head explodes}
{cue end credits}
Fun Facts
Trivia
- WRITTEN BY: SimWriter (TM)
- GUEST STAR: Smoking Gun as Smoking Knife
- This is another appearance of Brad's Box.
- This is another appearance of Exploding Heads.
- Phillyfanatic has the same colors as Anti-Phil from Phil's Crazy-Ass Journey.
Goofs
- When Joel and Brad crash Brad's Box, Joel has no legs.
- When Craig is saying that morale is up, one of Rya's arms is missing. Also, when the gang's in the elevator at the end, both of her arms are missing.
- For a single frame, just before the ending elevator scene, Rya's head disappears.
Real-World References
- Air Bud is a Disney family film about a dog who plays basketball. It has since spawned a series of direct-to-video sequels in which the dog participates in other sports.
- "The Red Baron" was the nickname for Manfred von Richthofen, an ace German fighter pilot during World War 1. It could also be a reference to Snoopy's fantasies in the Peanuts comic strip, or the Atari game of the same name.
- Mission Hill was a show played on Adult Swim on Sundays. 'Jim Kuback', a red-haired/bearded character, spoke with a similar voice as Craig, though not as slowly.
- Smart House was a made-for-TV movie on the Disney Channel. Smart houses are also futuristic, voice-activated houses. Only a few of them have been made, since they cost so much to make.
- "Disney's House of Mouth" is a reference to Disney's House of Mouse.
- Residential zones, building power plants, morale being up 80%, Joel using the "FUNDS" cheat to obtain extra funds, being crushed by Godzilla, and the entire underground society itself is a parody of Sim City.
- The cutaway of Phil being drunk is a reference too Witch Hunter Robin.
- Special Level, the "rip-off site" Joel refers to is a reference to Nex-Cube, a website that once ripped off Bonus Stage.
- Rya's "your dad" joke is a spin-off of "Your Mom" Jokes. And Elly was right; it never caught on.
Episode Description
It's a musical!!
No it's not.
YES IT IS.
No. Please no.
External Links
Categories: Joel Filmography | Brad Filmography | Phil Filmography | Elly Filmography | Rya Filmography | Keen Filmography | Craig Filmography | Episodes
