Strong Liqcurs
From Bonus Stage
Bonus Stage Episode #47
Elly starts a bar for all the unpopular characters.
Cast (in order of appearance): Elly, Joel, Jessica, Dad & Son, Phil, Rya, Spink, Phil's Friend, Musica, T-Bor and John
Places: Charismaville, Elly's Basement, Elly's Computer Room, Phil's House, Phil's Living Room, Elly's Bar, Backstab Land, The Garage
Page Title: Bonus Stage #47, aka "Bars Attack".
Running Time: 5:51
Date: November 5, 2004
Contents |
Transcript
{Roll opening credits.}
{Elly stands in a field, arms extended, with a joyful look on her face.}
ELLY: Gosh, I love my neighborhood! Hello, gradient sky!
{Cut to a smiling flower}
ELLY: Hello, anthropomorphic flower!
{Cut to the neighborhood. An orange man with Asian-esque eyes, buck teeth and a pointy hat stands in the street}
ELLY: Hello, curious racial stereotype! GAAAASSSP-P-P-P-P...
{Camera pans to Phil's house. Inside, the shadow of Jessica can be seen leaning over to a shadow of Joel. Elly runs into her house. Cut to Elly in her basement, watching TV.}
TV ANNOUNCER: On next week's episode of {cut to the TV with the Dad & Son logo} Dad & Son...
{Dad and Son are at the dinner table}
DAD: I hope you're ready for our fishing trip, son!
SON: I'm dating a black person!
DAD: AAAAAAAAAAAAUGH! Wash your hands before eating!
{Son shoves his fork into Dad's head}
SON: I'll eat your hands!
{Cut back to Elly}
TV ANNOUNCER: ...Actually...that WAS the entire episode.
{The announcer changes to a different voice and the glow of the TV changes}
TV ANNOUNCER: HEY, YOU!
ELLY: Who, me?
TV ANNOUNCER: Shut up! This is not an interactive commercial!
{Cut to the TV, which now shows a silhoutte of Homer Simpson's face with the words "COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT" written over it}
TV ANNOUNCER: Watch tonight's episode of The Simpsons, where Homer starts his own bar in his garage, {a box saying "NOT IN PUBLIC DOMAIN" appears} intermixed with footage of the Hindenburg crashing! You'll be saying, "Oh, the hilarity!"
{Cut to Elly}
ELLY: That's offensive AND animated! I should write a letter or something.
{Cut to Elly writing a giant "A" on a whiteboard in the computer room}
ELLY: That makes me feel a little better...but NOT a little better enough. I KNOW! {in a spooky tone, making weird hand gestures} I'll staaaart a baaaaaaaar! Ooooooo... 'cause it's gonna be haunted!
{Cut to Phil's house.}
PHIL: Joel, have you... {eyes bug out}
{Camera pans over to Joel and Jessica, both wearing pink dresses}
JOEL AND JESSICA: TEA PARTY!
{Cut back to Phil, with his eyes still bugged out. He slowly backs away. Cut to the living room}
PHIL: {through gnashed teeth} Grr...my mom, my MOM!
RYA: Post a thread about it on the Internet.
PHIL: I've posted many.
RYA: Then whine about it some more, why don't you, you smoked ham-ham.
PHIL: Marry a random guy, why don't you?
{Rya starts to cry silently. Phil's face turns to that of joy}
PHIL: Oh man! Face! Scratch mode! Oh! S-S-S-SLAM! {Rya stops crying, and she looks at Phil, irritated} DUH-DUH-DUH! DUH-DUH-DUH! Um... {Phil's face returns to normal} Oh, I just totally ruined that moment.
{Cut to outside Elly's house. There is a computer monitor mounted on top of the front door}
JOEL: What's this? WHAT'S THIS?!
{Zoom in on Elly's monitor}
JOEL: House of Blue Screen of Death...Invite Only?
PHIL: I can read, Joel.
JOEL: Well, I can't. {Phil looks confused} Anyway, that is the GEEKIEST name I've ever heard!
{Cut to the front door. Elly talks to Joel and Phil through a slat.}
ELLY: What do you asspunchers want?
PHIL: You opened a bar, Elly?
ELLY: Care to criticize, Phyllis?
JOEL: Phyllis...{Joel laughs}
PHIL: I'm not here to... I mean, ... Uh, I mean, why do you have ghost decorations? Halloween was a week ago!
{Elly sticks her arm out and points away.}
ELLY: OUT!
PHIL: Come on, I just want a drink, and you know, chat!
ELLY: Look. Here's my card.
{Elly sticks her foot out the door. A playing card is on her shoe. Phil grabs it and looks at it.}
PHIL: ...Thanks.
{Phil tosses the card into his mouth and walks off}
JOEL: Man, that Phil, what a loser. So, uh...let's slap some taps!
ELLY: Oh, no, ho! You're not getting in here! {sounding choked up} Go back to Betrayal Town, and visit Backstab Land, you hot, sexy...BEAST!
JOEL: Geez. Well...okay!
{Cut to Joel riding a teacup ride at Backstab Land}
JOEL: Wheeeeeee...
{A knife stabs him in the back}
JOEL: OH GOD!!
{Cut to Elly's Bar. Spink and Phil's Friend are present.}
ELLY: They can go shove themselves into a B-movie. Starring...Steven Seagal. Called..."Killer Justice". It's time the unpopular characters had THEIR chance to shine!
FRIEND: Yeah!
ELLY: Oh, right. I forgot the unpopular characters SUCK.
FRIEND: Have you ever seen Totally Spies?
ELLY: Oh no...oh, what have I done? Oh, now I know how Rya feels.
FRIEND: What's your favorite episode? Mine is the one where they go to Hawaii, and it's really a dangerous secret mission, and the girls don't know it, but there's the plot twist... Actually, I just said what the plot twist was, but...it's pretty good!
ELLY: {grudgingly} Mine's...the one with...the hypnotizing pop star--WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT THIS?!
{Cut to Phil's garage. Joel holds a bomb in one hand. Phil walks up}
PHIL: Hey, Joel. Where have you been?
JOEL: Long story. Act one. Scene one. {camera zooms in on Joel} Stage note: curtains open. A young man in his twenties named Joel Dawson steps out on stage, dressed in— STOP! {camera zooms back out} Short story, your mom.
PHIL: What are you doing now?
JOEL: Well, I'm blowin' the joint! And then I'm gonna detonate these explosives. With the joint.
PHIL: You have never gotten high, and you will never get high!
JOEL: Yeah, but...the ROOF of Elly's HOUSE will be SKY-high...
PHIL: I see what's going on! You're jealous!
JOEL: What?! That's not you speaking! That's a crazy demon baby speaking through you!
{As they talk, the camera zooms in on Phil's forehead, closer and closer, until a miniaturized version of the original scene reappears on a flesh-colored background, and the camera zooms in on that until we return to normal.}
PHIL: You can't handle that Elly has a get rich quick scheme. That actually worked! Supposedly. I mean, I don't have receipts, but...she is toting that bag. With the dollar signs.
JOEL: Maybe it's an old bag. Maybe she's carrying dodgeballs in there. SUPER dodgeballs!
PHIL: Well, still. This is her enterprise. You shouldn't stand in the way!
JOEL: Are you going to stand in MY way?
PHIL: Yeah, actually.
{Phil raises his arms up to block Joel}
JOEL: Well, take this!
{Joel runs offscreen. He places blocks in the form of steps to get over Phil}
PHIL: Aw, crap.
{Cut to Elly's Bar. T-Bor, Musica, and John are there, along with Spink and Phil's Friend}
MUSICA: Back in the day, we didn't have GROCERIES! We had to eat metal spikes! And fire!
ELLY: That's fantastic. Like Fantasy Flan.
FRIEND: Don't you mean Flantastic? ...Bizarro?
ELLY: Lord help me...
FRIEND: Waffles! That's from Invader Zim. That's a good cartoon.
ELLY: {Sounding like Invader Zim} HELP MEEEEEE!
{An explosion occurs. Cut to Phil's living room. Phil looks extremely angry}
JOEL: Well, it all worked out in the end...
PHIL: NO, IT DIDN'T!
{Ending credits}
Fun Facts
Trivia
- WRITTEN BY: Ellyfun the Elephant
- GUEST STAR: EA GAMES as A TERRIBLE COMPANY
- Elly is left-handed.
Fast Forward
- Elly's bar makes a few appearances again later in the series. Apparently she moved it from her garage to another building.
Goofs
- In the scene with the whiteboard, Elly's left sleeve is a different shade of orange than her right.
- When she makes funny hand gestures in front of the camera, her sleeves are blue.
Real-World References
- "WATCH TONIGHT'S EPISODE OF THE SIMPSONS, WHERE HOMER STARTS HIS OWN BAR IN HIS GARAGE." This may be a refrence to the episode "Homer the Moe".
- "...you smoked ham-ham." This is probably a reference to a show called "Hamtaro", where hamsters are referred to as ham-hams.
- "House of Blue Screen of Death..." A reference to the House of Blues mixed with Windows Blue Screen of Death.
- "Are you gonna stand in MY way?" "Yes, actually." Phil holding out his arms to block Joel, and Joel building steps over Phil is a reference to the game Lemmings.
- "Waffles! That's from Invader ZIM. That's a good cartoon..." Invader ZIM is a cartoon that used to be on Nickelodeon. It was created by comic artist Jhonen Vasquez, creator of various dark comics such as Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Squee!, and I Feel Sick. However, it was cancelled due to its "low ratings", as Nick puts it.
- "What's this? What's this?!" This is a refrence to the song "What's This?" from Tim Burton's "The Nightmare Before Christmas".
- Elefun the Elephant is a toy/game for preschoolers in which the children catch plastic butterflies in nets that sprout from Elefun's trunk.
- "Don't you mean Flantastic?" This may be a reference to the 2004 movie Envy, starring Jack Black and Ben Stiller. In the movie, after their "VaPOOrize" product is deemed a harmful poison, the lead characters develop a new get rich quick scheme with "Pocket Flan." The line "Don't you mean Flantastic?" comes from the infomercial they filmed for the product. It could also be a reference to the Courage The Cowardly Dog's Flan episode.
Episode Description
Elly is distraught over all of the other female characters entering the already fragile love triangle, and impulsively decides to build a bar in her garage because TV told her to do it. Joel decides to sabotage it.
External Links
Categories: Elly Filmography | Joel Filmography | Jessica Filmography | Dad & Son Filmography | Phil Filmography | Rya Filmography | Spink Filmography | Phil's Friend Filmography | Musica, T-Bor and John Filmography | Episodes
